5 Things I Learnt This Week

'Yeah this could work as our secret headquarters'

It should read '5 things WE learnt this week' because for the first time on this feature, Michael has joined me and contributed a couple of things he has learnt this week.

1. Wikileaks head office is better than the one I work at. My head office is a collection of buildings next to a massive PC World. Wikileaks HQ is carved into granite and boasts a floating conference room. If you want to be taking on the governments of the world then you can’t be operating out of a retail park in Nottingham. Assange should be proud; it’s the absolute definition of a lair.

2. Saudi Arabians love American TV – Talking of wikileaks, one cable divulges that Saudi Arabians are becoming more tolerant of American culture through tuning into programmes such as Friends and Desperate Housewives rather than the official American propaganda. It might have cost 500 million dollars but you know the propaganda is going to be boring, whereas a young Jennifer Anniston is anything but.

3. French haircuts will be getting more awkward. Personally I’ve never been one for much small talk during a haircut. I’m always too terrified my hair is being butchered to discuss my upcoming holiday plans in too much detail. The worst part for me is the fringe, when they crouch down and really get involved in your personal space. The radio can help alleviate all of this awkwardness, in my opinion they are a necessity to the hairdressing experience. In France this saving grace is now under threat due to a 100% rise in the amount of tax salons will now have to pay to play the radio. Quelle Suprise the French barbers have switched off the music and gone on strike. I would feel sorry for them as it seems a blatant hidden tax but we have to pay a licence fee to listen to the likes of Chris Moyles and Scott Mills so its hard to be too sympathetic.

4. Possessives (written by Michael). I'll be the first to admit it, my grammar is not what it should be. Writing on this blog with my Mother reading the occasional post has highlighted this fact - her computer screen is covered in red pen! So this week I'm trying to sort out my possessives. I should know all the rules already of course but in the age of the spell check I often make a few grammatical errors, so I spent some time looking into possessives, and plan to fully re-learn as much grammar as I can. I've definitely opened up my writing to scrutiny with this one...

5. You don't win anything with kids, do you Simon? Posted by the BBC's Jacqui Oatley on Twitter shortly after One Direction left the X-Factor. Now I'm not going to lie, I've dipped in and out of this series of the show, and I love a juicy stat, so I was shocked to hear that 'One D' had never been in the top two of the phone vote! Never! Yet Matt was there all along, fair play to the lad. I don't know what all the fuss was about myself, but Alan Hansen's much maligned prediction was correct this time around.