Gradulthood Jobs: Himalayan Yarsagumba Picker

'Pick' a career in the Himalayas

The graduate market is saturated, we all know that, we’ve been told it almost gleefully by our friends who didn’t go to university, almost apologetically by those who taught us there and we’ve heard it on the news every day since we graduated. If a gradult is going to get ahead then they need to be prepared to think outside the box. Recently this blog has been highlighting career opportunities that are so far outside the box that they don’t even acknowledge the box is there –the box is trying to add them on Facebook and finds out it’s been blocked. It’s embarrassing for the box really. These are job opportunities for the extra adventurous Gradult.

This position is situated in the picturesque Himalayan mountain range, straddling Nepal and Tibet. Now it’s a bit isolated, for example I don’t think they have a Topshop but with the internet these days you can just order your stuff online, I hear ASOS are very efficient. Although delivery could be an issue as you will be based in the secluded region of Nar, thousands of meters up on a snow covered mountain. Your main duty will be searching for and picking Yarsagumba, known for its incredible immune boosting and impotence solving qualities. That’s right, this role will see you harvesting the ‘oriental Viagra’ – it will certainly make it easier ‘getting up’ for work in the morning, although it is a ‘hard’ job. Innuendoes aside the successful applicant will be illegally crossing the Nepalese border and selling the Yarsagumba back to the Chinese for up to ten grand a kilo so the OTE is on a par with any shady commission based role on Monster– but with much better scenery.

This incredible position has only become available after a turf war between picking gangs ended in the killings of seven villagers from Ghorka and the jailing of 36 men from your prospective village, Nar. With the vast majority of the male adult population incarcerated in a makeshift prison the ‘land has been left barren’ (BBC) meaning the lucky gradult would have to show versatility, getting involved with ploughing as well as picking. Those with strong Buddhist beliefs might not want to pursue the role as picking the Yarsagumba is seen as a curse with local Buddhists warning it will bring ‘nothing but bad luck’. At Gradulthood we say you need to stay positive though, don’t listen to the Buddhists, don’t listen to the official government statistics, this could be the role for you. Good luck.