What makes a Gradult: Volume 3

According to David Cameron multiculturalism is dead. I wasn’t aware of this until his speech in Munich on Saturday but if this is the case then we need to start categorizing people again and quickly. Without further delay here is another way for you to work out if you’re a gradult or not.

1. What’s your poster to frame ratio?

I’ve already done ‘what’s your hallway situation’ so this feature could easily descend into me walking around a house, picking rooms at random and making lazy observations. Some might say it’s already become that but hear me out because your ‘poster to frame ratio’ can be an important gradult indicator.

You see adults have no reason for blue tack. By the time you make that leap into adulthood the poster is long since gone. Look around your parents house and tell me if you see a poster. No chance, their poster to frame ratio shifted some time back in the eighties and barring a divorce, a midlife or both, you don’t go back. You might know a couple of young adults and maybe noticed they have a few posters adorning their walls but I guarantee you they will be framed. I’ve just brought a poster and sure enough, I framed it. My ratio is shifting. As the shift continues framed posters will fall by the wayside as well. It seems that, as we move deeper into adulthood, we realise that if the picture costs less than the frame it shouldn’t be showcased. Seems fair enough but for now it will do.

I haven’t always framed my posters. As a youngster my walls were plastered with posters of footballers hacked out of magazines, and as a teenager I coated my walls with pictures of various waves, proving you could be a surfer without having ever stepped foot on a surfboard. All you need is some Sun-In, some wooden bracelets and a Saturday afternoon flicking through the posters at HMV. At university, posters are everywhere, freshers are met with a huge array of options yet strangely the only ones you’ll see adorning first year walls are drinking game rules, novelty road signs and a healthy smattering of Pulp Fiction. Girls will have that one with Audrey Hepburn smoking, that’s a given.

One exception to this rule might come in the form of a gradult who studied classics, or perhaps English Literature, these may well keep up some obscure French film noir poster on the wall long into their adulthood. You wouldn’t have seen it, which is why it’s up there.

So look around yourself, still got posters up? Gradult. Started framing the posters? It might be a start but there’s mileage in your Gradulthood yet.