Gradulthood Jobs: Mexican Policeman



Finally some recognition

After the success of the 'Christmas song' article this blog is increasingly becoming a beacon of career light, illuminating the way for Gradults all over the world as they stumble in the darkness of recession job hunting. Today, like a vocation compass we point you towards another career opportunity, that of the Mexican policeman. This job isn’t for the faint hearted, you may have stayed in some 2* hotels on your gap year and I’m sure your student accommodation was far from hygienic but this is a role for the extra adventurous Gradult. The border town of Guadalupe in Mexico, where you would be based if you do pursue this role, has seen 30,000 murders since 2006 due to the ongoing drug wars.

For the last six months the region has been policed by a single policewoman called Erika Gandara which seems incredibly brave. Surely she’s working over the designated 38 hours a week? Does she know that her employers need to get her to sign a form to work more than that? At my work anyone going over the call of duty receives a certificate emblazoned with the slogan ‘Whale Done’; she at least deserves one of these. In fact I think she deserves the even more prestigious 'Shining Star', a monthly prize that comes with a £25 Topshop voucher and a half day to spend it on. Although who's her competition? And what’s to stop her taking a half day every Friday, you set your own hours when you’re the only one clocking in surely. Do you think she’s coming in after six pints the night before!? No chance.

Anyway, I should probably stop making jokes about her because she’s actually been kidnapped, which is why this role is now available. Guadalupe currently doesn’t have a single policeman. I know what you’re thinking, I couldn’t get a job at Matalan because I didn’t have the prerequisite customer service experience, how am I going to get a job on the force when my only previous experience with the police involved a crate of Strongbow and a wheelie bin? Well fear not because the neighbouring hamlet of Praxedis Guadalupe Guerreror has just hired a 20 year old college student as police chief (well he was the only applicant). Now I’ve watched 'The Wire' and it normally takes a lot of tense conversations and confrontations with angry union leaders to become police chief so these are opportunities not to be missed. Next time you hear a Gradult moaning about a lack of fulfilling jobs then ask them if they’re really looking out for all the career paths. A young Mexican Gradult was and now he’s a police chief, certainly looks better on the CV than my two years at Somerfield.

I am of course making light of a horrible situation.