gra-dult-hood n.

1. A stage in life between graduation and adulthood.
2. Gradulthood often involves jobs that don't fulfil a graduate's expectations.
3. A term coined during the recession.

Youth in revolt (by Chris Metcalfe)

This week we have a new guest writer, and he goes by the name of Chris Metcalfe:

'Cometh the New Year, cometh a new guest writer. As yet another product of the (in)famous University of Leeds Geography class of 2009, I become the third (or fourth?) to feature on the Gradulthood front page and like my brothers in arms I also seem to have no ideas on my future path through life. It almost seems ironic that a group of Geography graduates should have absolutely no sense of direction when it comes to careers! If John O’Shea did a degree it would almost certainly be in Geography, what with his uncertainty over which position he plays.

I’m currently working as a Project Manager for a translation company. “What languages do you speak?” I hear you ask. The answer is none; I’ve relied on street smarts and killer instinct to get by. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got a solid B at French GCSE and three years of Latin under my belt, but in all honesty, how far is Caecilius est in hortus (Caecilius is in the garden) going to get you? Get out of the garden Caecilius and get on! In order to avoid writing the most morbid debut piece ever let’s try and focus on the positives for a second. As fresh faced Gradults we’re young and have time on our side. I’ve forecasted another 45 years of work ahead of me, make it 50 under the current government so why the panic about finding a career? I’m quietly riding out the Credit Crunch, slowly acquiring a few skills along the way. We’re young and mobile labour, it’s the older generation that are in trouble – if you’re over 35 and reading this then I’m sorry but you’re on your own! You need a fallback and quick.

Take three of the finest men in football for instance: Gary Neville, Paul Scholes and Ryan Giggs. They are all soon to retire from the professional game, swapping the sanctity of Old Trafford for a cold and unforgiving economic climate. The question I’m asking is this…Have they got a fallback? We’ll start with Gary. I read somewhere that on retirement he’s due to promptly relocate to Merseyside and become an overly officious traffic warden…he’ll be fine. Paul Scholes on the other hand I worry for. From what I’ve seen the ginger wizard struggles to learn new skills. This is a man who’s been in the game for 20 years and STILL can’t tackle. What chance as he got picking up a new career…he’s not got the presenting flair of Dean Windass or the business acumen of Dion Dublin to fallback on! As for Ryan Giggs, I think we’ve all just accepted that he will play forever. He’s become one of those constant fixtures in life…Clarkson on Top Gear, Barlow on Coronation Street, Channel 5 on sub-standard programming! Having said that, Giggs has come out this week declaring his interest in a Wales coaching role. Come on Ryan, things will never get so bad that you have to go back there! Classic example of a Credit Crunch panic!

So next time you’re fretting about life and the Credit Crunch is getting you down – relax, get your head down and wait for her to blow over. There are people worse off! If you read this literally, I guess I’m making the point that the true victims of the Credit Crunch are retiring footballers!?! If you dig a little deeper however, you’ll uncover the true message of this musing. It’s the ageing, immobile and over specialised pool of labour that are taking the economic crisis on the chin. Sure, we’re feeling the pinch but with few commitments or responsibilities we can adapt to anything…like John O’Shea!'

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